C'mon, 'fess up! You know you've been wanting to stock up on Bacon Strips Bandages. Or maybe it's a Sushi Air Freshener you have a hankerin' for, or a Carl Jung action figure, or just a good old fashioned rubber chicken.
Whatever it is, no trip to Seattle is complete without a trip to Archie McPhee in Ballard. Just don't go expecting to find the perfect tasteful highlight for that elegant living room or to complement that expensive new suit. It's all kitschie, tacky, and delightfully fun. Leave your refined sense of humor at the door and unleash your inner pirate...or meat lover...or devil duckie aficionado (I have a devil duckie wash cloth - it's my favorite).
Where else can you go to find pink flamingos for your lawn, nun finger puppets, a parasite pals lunchkit, and nihilist chewing gum ("we don't believe in flavor"), all under one roof?! It's a mecca of bad taste. How could you ever forgive yourself if you missed it?
And if you can't convince yourself that a trip to Archie McPhee is in order just to shop for that giant ear to hang on your wall, you're in luck. Because if you decide on a more respectable tourist destination like the Ballard Locks, you'll be driving right past Archie McPhee on the way there.
Just zip in, pick up a deluxe nose and mustache disguise, top it off with an inconspicuous plastic viking helmet, and shop in blissful anonymity.
Your secret is safe with me.