Quirky in Seattle

Is that gum in your mouth getting a little old and flavorless? Don't have a garbage can handy? No problem! Just stick it to the nearest wall!

Well, you might want to wait until the nearest wall is The Gum Wall in Post Alley by Pike Place Market. A collaborative effort by thousands of gum chewers over the years, the gum wall started in the 1990's soon after Unexpected Productions started their improv shows in the Market Theater.

Well, you might want to wait until the nearest wall is The Gum Wall in Post Alley by Pike Place Market. A collaborative effort by thousands of gum chewers over the years, the gum wall started in the 1990's soon after Unexpected Productions started their improv shows in the Market Theater.

The story goes that it started with some show-goer sticking a coin to the wall with gum. The wall became a magnet for mass coin-sticking, only to be relieved of the coins by some financially challenged soul who for some strange reason didn't see fit to take the gum as well.

And so The Gum Wall was born.

It's a little off the beaten Market track, so if you aren't looking for it, you might miss it. Start at Rachel, the big brass pig under the market clock, go down the steps to the alley below, go under the big Market Theater sign, and the wall is on your left across from the Market Theater entrance.

Alternatively, you can close your eyes and see if you can guess by smell alone when you've reached The Gum Wall (I've got a pretty deficient sniffer, and even I could have found it). Best to have someone lead you there though - you probably don't want to feel your way along with your hands.

C'mon, 'fess up! You know you've been wanting to stock up on Bacon Strips Bandages. Or maybe it's a Sushi Air Freshener you have a hankerin' for, or a Carl Jung action figure, or just a good old fashioned rubber chicken.

Whatever it is, no trip to Seattle is complete without a trip to Archie McPhee in Ballard. Just don't go expecting to find the perfect tasteful highlight for that elegant living room or to complement that expensive new suit. It's all kitschie, tacky, and delightfully fun. Leave your refined sense of humor at the door and unleash your inner pirate...or meat lover...or devil duckie aficionado (I have a devil duckie wash cloth - it's my favorite).

Where else can you go to find pink flamingos for your lawn, nun finger puppets, a parasite pals lunchkit, and nihilist chewing gum ("we don't believe in flavor"), all under one roof?! It's a mecca of bad taste. How could you ever forgive yourself if you missed it?

And if you can't convince yourself that a trip to Archie McPhee is in order just to shop for that giant ear to hang on your wall, you're in luck. Because if you decide on a more respectable tourist destination like the Ballard Locks, you'll be driving right past Archie McPhee on the way there.

Just zip in, pick up a deluxe nose and mustache disguise, top it off with an inconspicuous plastic viking helmet, and shop in blissful anonymity.

Your secret is safe with me.